How to Deal With a Negative Co-worker - The Muse

How to Deal With a Negative Co-worker - The MuseHow to Deal With a Negative Co-worker If your co-worker complains one more time, youre going to lose it. You used to enjoy his little hellos to your work space, but now youve come to dread it when he stops by. You used to respect him, but now you just want to avoid him.Whats changed? All he does is complain. And that brings you to this article- figuring out how to get it to stop. 1. Ask if They Want to Vent or if They Want Advice.This is a simple step that so many people skip when theyre on the receiving end of drama. And because of that, miscommunications happen. Think Dan keeps coming to me for advice on dealing with his boss, but never does what I say or My sister wont stop complaining about her boyfriends cleaning habits and didnt landseem to appreciate that article I sent her on the topic.If They Want to VentTruth Sometimes people just want or need to vent. Thats OK and if you know that, you have two options to listen or to say, I hear you, however, youve been venting a lot lately and I always leave our conversations feeling a little down. I think I need a vent-free week, is that OK?Of course, this is hard to say, especially to someone you truly like. But if you were the person being a drain on your friend, youd want to know, right?If They Want AdviceOffer it if you have it. If not, refer them to resources, such as an article, your HR department, or a career coach. If you feel its deep-seated or theyre not wanting to work on a solution, mention the help that a trained professional can provide. Its also fine to say, Thats a really complicated situation youre in and I dont know what Id do. Whenever Im in a tricky spot, I reach out to my mentor. If youd like, I can see if hed be able to chat.2. Help Them Frame the IssueWorkplaces are made up of people, and we know that theres nothing predictable about human beings interacting with each other. Your co-worker may benefit from a different perspective. Summarizing i t for them- I see your situation like this, and if I had to resolve it, Id probably work it through this way your sage advice here. What do you think of this approach?- helps to push the conversation forward. Which leads me to...3. Strongly Encourage Them to Create Actionable Next StepsIf you keep hearing about the same issue over and over again, try asking this simple question What steps are you taking to address this? If They Have an AnswerOffer encouragement Tell them theyre doing the right thing and that you respect them for taking the mature (or professional or proactive) approach. If They Say, NothingAssuming they answered, advice please to the question above, give it. (Or recommend where they can get it.)Following these three steps should help this co-worker realize the toll their complainings taking on you and either stop using you for vents or be more proactive. But if it doesnt, disengage as much as possible. Reclaim your time and your self worth by recognizing the damage this is doing to you and find ways to avoid these interactions. That can range from being busy with your work when the persons in the vicinity, to asking your manager for advice, to avoiding situations in which you know hell be present. You owe it to yourself to create a positive workspace in which you can thrive.